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Saturday 5 October 2013

A Vote of Thanks


Nanos gigantium humeris insidentes

I bloody hate the Oscars. I hate the Oscars with a passion. A more self congratulationary event there cannot be. I couldn’t care less about who wins the bloody things and I care even less about what so and so wore on the red carpet. And those interminable, toe curling acceptance speeches are truly awful. It is all a big bag of baws.
However, there is something magical about the cinema and I count going to watch a film as one of life’s great luxuries. Possibly the only thing that I love more than watching a good film is slouching on my couch in my front room.
I am not sure why, but I am not capable of sitting up straight. As a boy I was chided constantly by my mother and implored to ‘sit up straight’. Slouching was, apparently, indicative of a lack of moral backbone as well as a physical one and was to be stamped out with an evangelical zeal.
I do love a slouch though. There is nothing I like better than lounging on my couch and contemplating the world, or as my dear old Granny would say, warming my eyes. My couch has slowly moulded into the shape of my backside and now mimics my slouch. It is impossible for me to sit on my settee any more without it sucking me in and slowly making me recline.
Given my love for my couch it is strange that going to cinema is such an attraction. After all with modern technology I can get access to films only a couple of months after they are released in the cinema and I can to watch them from the comfort of my beloved couch. But no there is still something wonderful about a trip to the flicks.
I am afraid, therefore, that I am about to embark on the equivalent of an oscars acceptance speech. I feel compelled to do so and I make no apology for it. You have been warned though, so feel free to bugger off and go and make a cup of tea, or talk amongst yourselves for 5minutes. I wont be long. I will give you a shout when I am done.
There are many people that I would like to thank. Without whose help I would not have been able to complete my Tour.
Firstly my own travelling Tifosi. I am now, regretfully, 37 years old. At my age my parents really shouldn’t be coming on holiday with me. If I had an ounce of self respect it would be a little embarrassing. Indeed I could tell that there were a number of people in the Tour party who were of that mind and couldn’t quite figure out why a middle aged man was being followed round France by his mother. Well, to hell with them, I say. It was an absolute delight to hear the cowbell jangle whilst struggling up many an Alpine climb. I am blessed to have parents who want to not only share in an adventure, but are willing and game to have an adventure themselves.
I borrowed the Kempervan the other week and how the pair of them managed to survive 6 weeks sleeping in quarters that are tighter than a single bed, I will never know.
At the bottom of the Alpe I was welcomed by Saltires waved by the Trewartha clan and was accompanied to the bottom of the incline by Craig and to the top of the hill by Stevie. It was wonderful to have support at the bottom and some company to the top.  It fairly made the legs birl faster.
And to be welcomed to the top of the Alpe by my brother, sister in law and my niece and nephew was wonderful. Twice up the Alpe was tough and I could have done without wheeling my three year nephew endlessly round the block, mind you. Perhaps when I am old an infirm he will push me endlessly in my wheel chair.
The welcome in Paris was special. Brad, a friend from Canada who now lives near Paris came to cheer me on in Versaille. My cousin Kirsty had taken a break from counting fish on a research vessel in the far North Atlantic to accompany me on the last leg.
My friends Mark and Jamsie had travelled from Glasgow to witness my triumphant ride into Paris. Although it was supposed to be a surprise, Jamsie had divulged his intention whilst inebriated at the Stone Roses concert the week before I left. So drunk was he, he made me swear that I wouldn’t tell myself that he was coming, so as not to spoil the surprise.
My Uncle Alan and Auntie Christine had travelled from Norway, my cousin Fiona had flown in from Brasil with her 18month year old daughter Linnea, my cousin Iain and his wife Amisha had travelled from London all to share in the party. And what a great party it was. I was and am, immensely humbled  and grateful for the efforts that they made and the support that they gave.
But the biggest thanks has to go to the Tour de Force team. Riding the tour was a long held ambition. I dedicated a year of my life to getting fit and prepared for the journey. It would not have been possible without the dedication and hard work of the TdF team. To the medical staff, Sarah, Andy, Julian, who kept the weary bodies on the road and were there to assist when ever necessary. To the mechanics Stu, Pete, Sam Nick, Ian, Ian, Matt, Andy, Andy and Ben who worked incredibly long hours to make sure that everyone’s bike made it through the journey. To the physios, Jen, Baz, Lucy, Kirsty, Louise and Paul, who worked tirelessly to make sure bodies held up to the rigours of the tour.
To big Dr Col. Who cycled every mile and more and was still able to fulfil his medical duties.
And finally, to my fairy god mothers. Who really were responsible for making a dream come true.
Tracey – who organised so much before we went out, managed all the communications whilst we were away and still managed time to ride the Corsican stages.
Phil Deeker – who was simply a colossus. I have no idea the total mileage that Phil cycled, his fitness, strength and knowledge was truly awe inspiring.
Sarah – I have no idea how Sarah managed to pull the whole thing off. Everything that mattered went like clockwork, and if anything did go wrong, it was resolved without breaking stride. The logistics of the Tour must have been mind boggling, I cannot begin to comprehend. But not only this she had to deal with literally hundreds of tired, crabby cyclists moaning about the most insignificant issues.
I tip my hat to all of you. A grand chapeau and a most sincere and heartfelt thanks.
I could not have done this without you and my achievement and all of my fellow cyclists is your achievement.
Truly standing on the shoulders of giants.