Stage 4: Chewing the Pave

Feet up, Resting. You wont see a finer example of the 'rest' anywhere in pro cycling.

Cycling produces some wonderful imagery; from the peleton cruising past bright yellow sunflowers, to the vertigo inducing back drop of the alps. The French summer sun creates a palette of colours that simply aren’t available under a driech Scottish sky. But not to be out done by their photo journalistic colleagues the cycling’s written press also paint equally vivid pictures. For a start there are the nicknames given to the cyclists, lurid, often blood thirsty, always memorable: The Cannibal, il Pirata (the Pirate), the Badger, elle Pistelero (the gun slinger), the Tashkent Terror, the Eagle of Toledo, Spartacus, The God of Thunder, il Diablo to name but a few. Oh and not forgetting Poupou, the hacks must have had an off day with that one. You’d be gutted if your pal was assigned ‘The Cannibal’ and you drew ‘Poupou’ out the hat. The fact it was Raymond Poulidour – one the finest cyclists ever would just add insult to injury. Poupou was the ‘eternal second’ to Jacques Antquitel (Monsoir Chrono) and Eddy Merkx (the Cannibal). I can’t help thinking that the respective nicknames must have had something to do with him never winning any of the Grand Tours. After all if someone shouts, ‘Crikey, here comes Poupou over the hill’, its hardly likely to strike the same level of fear as if you turn round to see a Cannibal breathing down your neck.

Forgive me, I digress… Now, where was I? Yes… Imagary.

Even the races are given, well, racey nicknames. Like the ‘Race to the Sun’ or the ‘Derby of the Road‘. Paris – Roubiax is often referred to as ‘The Hell of the North’ (l’Infer du Nord’) and is run over Napoleonic, cobbled roads in the north of France. The ‘Pave’ are so rough you wouldn’t think it possible to ride a bike over them. As a result you often see the riders do everything they can not to ride on the roads, bumping up onto the pavements or the grass verge.

Today saw us tackle the team time trial (TTT) circuit. In what is sure to be another photogenic stage in the beautiful town of Nice. The turquoise water of the Med and the golden sandy beaches will give a sumptuous back drop to what is always a spectacle. The sight of 12 riders riding as one in close unison, at speeds of 60kph is always a site to behold.

I think it would be stretching things for our, at times, motley progress to be described in such poetic tones. Our journey was, hindered somewhat by the injudicious placing of a number of traffic lights and compulsory stop signs and the occasional need for one our number to stop and go for a piss. As a result I don’t think that the time we put down, although stiff, will be beaten with a great deal of difficulty.

We jumped off the ferry from Corsica this morning about 8am and were all done our cycling for the day by about 10. The remainder of the day has been spent resting.

Resting is a crucially important part of any Grand Tour and one of the few areas where I feel I can truly compete with the worlds best. I am, even though I say it myself, pretty dam good at the resting and it is something that I take incredibly seriously. To this end I have been sitting on my arse all day, variously eating, dosing, typing and keeping out the sun. The latter has been a real sacrifice, given that we are in Nice and in a hotel with a private pool and a private beach complete with perfect golden sands and chokka block with beautiful people. But, dear reader, rest assured that my iron will and discipline has not wavered.

My battles with the French language continue, on the menu for lunch number 1 (there was also a lunch number 2) were a Pave roll and Otter flavour crisps. I, like the pros avoided the Pave roll, I figure that if they are too hard to ride on then they are probably too hard to chew on. I’m not sure if it was curiosity or hunger that got the better of me, either way, I got tore into the otter flavour crisps and can report back that they were quite magnificent. I can reveal that Otter flavour crisps taste a lot like ready salted, should you ever be faced with such and ethical dilemma yourself.

I’m off… I need to get another 30 minutes resting in before dinner and I’m not sure I’ve got enough time.

From Nice,

n

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